08/01/2010

When it all gets turned upside down...


It happens occasionally that the things we deem as normal no longer seem... right.

You want a lie in, yet the day starts with a beautiful sunrise with unnecessarily bright rays penetrating your curtains, reminding you even more that you are not sleeping. Frustrated, you stick a DVD on and your favorite comedian suddenly no longer seems funny - in fact he's a bit of a prick, and you can't believe you own 3 of his DVD's. To make it all worse, you cheer yourself up my going out for breakfast and order your favorite meal, only to find that upon delivery the sight of it makes you feel quite unwell.

Nothing satisfies, nothing motivates, nothing nothing fecking nothing... even getting angry about it doesn't feel right.

It's like being stuck in the body of another person, living someone else's life which is only similar to yours. A mobile goes off in your pocket, you take it out and check the name - they even have the same friends as you! - but they're not your friends, so you hang up. Whilst journeying to work you notice how dull your surroundings all look. Even sounds seem muted. It's an odd affair and you know it, yet you can't quite put a finger on why.

You get to work, it's early so no one's in a talky mood, which is good because you have nothing to say. Sitting at your desk you wonder about starting up the computer, nothing has made sense so far this morning, how will turning that on help? But you do it, and after a few minutes (vista) habit takes over and you start working.

At some point of the day a change occurs. It may be the monotony of working. It may have been the point when you jammed you finger in the drawer. It may have been a friendly face asking it you fancy a hot drink or it may be upon reading a truly lame joke in an email. But at some point colour returns to the world and finally your skin feels like your own.

You reflect upon how lucky it was that you were up to see the sunrise, you can't believe you didn't eat that tasty looking fry up, you remember to call Luke back, but now you think about it, maybe Bill Hicks really isn't as funny as you thought he was.

As colours and familiarity re-enter your life once more, looking back at the morning you can't but think - what was all that about?

6 comments:

IndigoWrath said...

We had similar days. Hats off to you big guy, you helped it get better for me.

Eolist Petite said...

such a positive spin! this is one i shall remember when next my world feels black and white.

Kato said...

Had one of these the other day. I myself was quite confused by it all. Felt like I had been hit by a train!

I am glad color came back into your world :)

idifficult said...

Yep. I think we all get a few of those. Feel nothing, care less days. There is also the converse for me too. Days when everything is brighter, my vision is clearer, ideas flow free, sounds are brighter. More often would be bloody nice.

Occasionally called Robbie said...

Hey!
Indigo - Eolist - Kato - iDcult

Thanks for taking time out to look over this one, not my usual sort of entry, but then it wasn't my usual sort of week :) And iDcult you are very right! Those days Rock, more of those should be dished out for sure!

AniPants said...

xxx

i think this is a beautiful piece of writing baby.
keep you chin and eyes up,
even if the sky if full of clouds xxxx