Begrudgingly I creaked open my eyes and looked down, it was early - too early. Yet feeble light still managed to punch it's way through the blinds, caressing my chest with enough luminance to highlight the cause of my non-sleeping state. A hole.
A gapping chasm that sunk impossibly deep was seated in my upper torso - well that certainly explained the sickening pain I was in - but being what I would consider a regular guy, not seeing my chest jungle was decidedly difficult for the grey matter to be dealing with, especially at this hour. Rather than make sense of the situation, the more imaginative parts of my brain mustered up the sounds of fast moving water coming up from the depths, with the occasional squark from what I could only assume, I thought an eagle sounded like - having never heard an eagle before it was kind of a cross between a Parrot and a Sparrow - I appreciated the effort it had gone to, and with some success the relaxing fictional sounds, were taking the focus away from the torturous pain.
I flopped my head back onto the pillow and took decisive action, I chose to ignore it. Well that was the plan, but as it turned out the adventurous-imaginative parts of the brain wanted to explore the chasm. So after some futile resisting, I found myself fully kitted out in climbing gear, descending the cliff face that was lining my chest cavity - surreal only just starts explaining the state of events I found myself in - I leaned back on the zip cord which was secured somewhere out of sight, and dared to look down. To my surprise I could see the rapids some way down, breaking in angry foam on the occasional boulder, and looking about, the scraggy cliffs were far from barren with many shrubs taking hold in the cracks, even the odd ambitious tree was trying to make some sort of life for its self. I was taken aback, it was quite lovely here, I've always loved a good outdoor adventure and this was really lifting my spirits. I looked up expecting to be graced by a rich blue sky and a warming sun, though it seemed my fantasy had a sense of grounding intact, as I instead laid eyes on my ceiling fan, complete with the cobweb strung between two of its blades.
As I frowned at the cobweb my footing gave way, the cord quickly snapped taught with a twang so I didn't fall far, but I was winded by the sudden jolt, confused, my face squished against the wall, I had a bad feeling. The ground started shaking violently, debris falling past me, each piece larger than the last, I was scrambling to find some fresh footholds, hand grips, a twig, anything! Then it dawned on me - fantasy, my fantasy - with very little effort I left the scene of impending destruction and open my real eyes. Back in bed, still too early, still a cobweb on the ceiling fan - I really must do something about that - the chest pain had gone though, so with some hopefulness I looked down. My hairy jungle was back, it's curly abundant foliage no longer marred by the strangeness that was the hole. I needed to clear my head, the mornings experience had been vivid, I could still feel the remnants of pain in my ribs and it had left me feeling queasy. I rested up onto my elbows and sighed. Regardless of whether I imagined the chasm or not, there was quite clearly a whirlpool where I would usually expect to see my belly.
The water seemed relatively calm as it slowly swirled, none of which was sloshing over the sides onto the bed - which was nice - I stared at it a moment before deciding to stick my finger in it - I should have known better, I've seen curiosity get the better of my cat many times - as the tip broke the surface three things happened. Firstly I was surprised by how warm it was. Secondly I noticed I had made a wave that intensified as it rippled out. And Third? Nausea sucker punched me, knocking me back onto both elbows, I wasn't sure which way I was going to blow, but something was coming and fast! The whirlpool was fierce now, it's speed had increased with violent waves crashing about with malice, out of nowhere clouds started forming above the vortex, as the storm intensified the clouds grew, darkening and crackling in a truly epic fashion - Up till now I had considered myself a patient recipient of a morning of abnormalities, but Panic was now dutifully stepping up to take the reigns, I didn't argue -
Panic was just about to introduce tears as the storm reached it's pinnacle, rapt, yet feeling somewhat tortured, I watched as the clouds lit from within, then as one, unleashed a mighty sliver of lighting into the vortex. The accompanying thunder was so forceful it knocked me flat. In my prone, slightly blinded state, I witnessed the duvet swirl into the air and off to the side, the blinds rattle against the windows and the cobweb bluster about yet hold fast.
The calm that followed was almost instant, sitting up I seemed to be my normal self again, yet Panic was still in charge and didn't release the reigns unit a frantic search of my person revealed no more 'surprises'. Apart from being a bit achy, I felt great, fantastic even! I was considering starting my day before remembering how ridiculously early it was, I rarely get a lie in as it is, so I picked up the duvet, jumped into bed and got cosy again, the memory of recent activities already fading fast. As I dosed off, I promised myself, I'd never eat beans before bed again.